My Bathroom

My bathroom has no working outlets in it. This forces me to keep my excellent Oral-B electric toothbrush in my room.

My bathroom is always dirty. It gets a cleaning every month if it's lucky.

My bathroom is used by four people. It looks like it is used by 20.

Every shower I take is the worst shower of my life. Sometimes it is the pressure. Sometimes it is the temperature. Sometimes it is both. I always have the hot water as high as it goes. It is unpredictable what this temperature will be.

There is a hamster living in my bathroom. His name is Cohen and he is a teddy-bear hamster. I wish I could say he was named after someone cool like Leaonard Cohen, but he is named after Seth Cohen, a fictitious tv character on the O.C. who is kind of cool, but naming a hamster after him is not cool. Poor little Cohen is abandoned. It is not his fault. He has a squeaky hamster wheel. And since he is nocturnal, it keeps light sleepers up at night. I have been tempted to buy the poor guy a plastic one, but I never kind myself in a place where they sell such an item. A few times when I have been drunk I have contemplated plugging the tub and putting him in it. I am curious to see if is claws can grip the tub and if he can escape from it.

The best part of my bathroom is being able to open the window in nice weather and feel like I am showeing outside. If I am lucky, I will catch a glimpse of a squirrel running across the power line. This makes me happy. It reminds me of a time when I was not alive and I assume life was easier then.

Calvin, the last poo I took was pretty big, but it was one of those gross ones that you have to wipe a lot. The weather is very dry and thus my ass is dried out and wiping it a lot is creating a lot of discomofort, at this point I have no plans to apply moisturiser to my pooey, hairy ass.